blogs can wilt

looking over this space i created to detail my journey, my last entry i produced was the 11th of july. how long ago that was! over a month indeed! and i am realizing that maybe i have hesitations about coming to this space because it seems so much more of an effort than i originally thought it to be. for my trip in indonesia, i have not really been writing much or using a camera either. i kind of have just been letting my experiences continuously wash over me, forgetting some until later when they unexpectedly appear. and its strange to remember experiences when all your current experiences are so fresh and new too. as though i cannot decipher between which is more exciting becasue all these new memories are grounded in a country still so so new to me. and even though i have been here for a little over two months, i can feel a sort of home-feeling cultivating within me so much so that some things are occuring out of habit.

currently i have some down time before starting the next rather large phase of my travels. i am in bandung with linda, the teacher i will be working with (in the village of Pasawahan) for the next 3 months. we basically have been staying in her parents house and i really havent had the chance to explore much of bandung so instead i have been exploring the internet. seeing what my friends have been doing on facebook. thinking about america from a more outside perspective. and also thinking about myself from an outside perspective. really have been rasising questions like "what do i really want to do?" as this dettachment from school really allows one to think about future plans and positions inthe world. i have decided however to stick with forestry at berkeley (i was doubting it before because it required classes i had no interest in taking) but now im seeing how having a degree like that can help me mobilize myself into positions promising for traveling to indonesia or othe rcountries through the field of forests, agriculture, the creation of space, and traditions revolved around forests. who knows how scientific i will get with foresty after berkeley, but i do believe i will be able to do so much more in exchange for the completeion of classes i have less of an interest in. my desire to continue this sense of independence too, im thinking, will help me use my life-time and its ticking seconds more efficiently, more charged with energy (not because i worry my time is fleeting, but because i desire to be so complete and active with my life and time! life my life for stories, you know?) i feel as though i have so many friends that excel at taking advatnage of their time, but im still such a new student in that field. i really want to live life to its fullest extent. taste every ingredient in every bite. and yet not have attachments to trying to remember everything but instead collecting subconsciously the thesis, main points, and emotions of the experience and harevsting them into some delicious honey later to use in the tea i drink when i find sitting to be more pleasureable. right now, i want to run! climb! jump! swim! be thrown by waves, feel confused, raw, youthful really. and i want that dynamism to continue for quite awhile. i want to nourish myself with uncertainty for a change. because while i was in school, everything seemed so predictable, so planned (especially with the very strict curiculum of foresty). but now, through indonesia, i am recharged, and in a sense reborn and very uncertain about a lot of things. expect, that is, my love for the relationships i have made with my friends and family. i want to continute growing my family! being in indonesia, especially with the dominant religion of Islam, makes me see so much how large communities/families can be through religion. entire neighborhoods label themselves as a family. so different when compared to the segregation of households in america. i desire to maintain the large webbing, vinning, mushroom mycelium mass i have cultivated between you, myself, and the new souls i am meeting in indonesia. how beautiful to know that i have friends (and families) in a country originally foreign to me. that when i am back in america, i can think about all these people i originally did not know exsisted. how mind expanding! how nourishing too. and this realization comes with language, and the relationships i have formed in a different tongue. how some people dont know me with english. amazing!

these are more poetic rambles. i promise my future posts will become more grounded in the actual physical experiences i am having. and with that being said, i think i will use this blog less and instead send out a very condensed email every now and then with what i am doing in indonesia. this blog therefore will become more of a poetic space where i can go off into tangents so much that trigonometry cannot follow me! ya? okay. really quick though i will summarize some things:

the past month definitely picked up speed. the classes got harder, more intense, and i also participated in the Islamic holiday Ramadhan, which occurs all of august. if you dont know about this holiday, google it! i am in love with the idea of it. everyone fasts for the entire month of Ramadhan, only eating at 3 am (before the sun rises) and after 5 30 (after the sun sets). this long period of hunger helps remind those that their are other people who do not have enough money or access to food and suffer much longer without food or water (yes, i did not eat or drink too! difficult at first but totally possible). by having those experiences, i have become so much more grateful food food and also for eating together with others. this holiday really unites every one in thr country with hunger. for example, two hours before you get to eat dinner is a period named Ngabuburit where people get together, play games, talk, hang out in order to distract themselves from hunger. and then when its time to eat dinner, you then get to open the fasting period with those people. with your friends and family. you get to taste and drink food together after such long periods. and the experience holds so much more meaning. so yes, it was difficult for me while learning Indonesian because there are periods when you feel weak or have a slight headache but i persisted for 12 days (until the end of my very intense languaage learning period) before going to Bali with another student from the CLS program to learn about Balinese agriculture while also having a change to pig out on the most delicious food ever! and fresh juice! while taking trips to beaches and monkey forests. what a great way to reward myself for all the hard work put into CLS. and now, i can communicate so much better. i can follow what people say to me more than speak back to them, but thats still really empowering. you should see the faces of Indonesians when they realize you can speak indonesian. they usually say youre already fluent (lancar) and smart (pintar) to be polite, but really it makes them so happy to see foreigners learning their language; the country of indonesian has such a commitment to learning english so i feel as though we from the CLS program and others show too that Americans are making efforts to learn their language too. such a beautiful thing! although there were a vew problems with the CLS program, i am happy to report that overall it helped me advance myself SO much! and im really happy with how i spent my summer. now my fall will have an entirely new direction and focus in the academic sense. and the teaching sense. i get to use my creative skills and come up with fun ways to teach middle and high school students english. im nervous just a little bit but think its out of giddyness but i am sure that will turn into confidence soon. at the village i wont have too much access to internet (only a little bit) but i will be able to receive emails so please email me! bohemgreenrf@berkeley.edu to talk. really, i will be able to respond because im thinking that the village will be quite slow at times. i will respond!

okay, now to start the next activity. but im loving you! and look for my emails in your inbox. im going to bogor in 2 days to meet with the folks from the institute i will be interning at (SAINS) while also meeting with Oji (a professors former PhD (now doctor!) from indonesia who helped me get this internship and who introduced me to the land reform movement in west java!). im excited to say the least! and to try and form relationships to these people in Indonesian. wish me luck! i wish you the world to share with others and make beautiful moments!

breathe (and type fast!),

ray
xoxox

ma'af (sorry!)

hai! halo!

sorry for not writing here in such a long time. the language course has picked up speed in addition to me having my big midterm this thursday (ah! wish me luck!). this program has been extremely effective at helping me pick up the language. its insane what can be accomplished and taught within a matter of 8 weeks.

i do promise to write more on here after next monday. this week, from thursday to monday, i will be going to an island east of java named lombok for some holiday relaxation time. i will surely tell you stories for how that goes!

until then, family and friends, i love you and send you the world,
ray

“aren’t you afraid?”

My word retention is improving. I can use words without even having to think about them first; instead of entering through the back of my lexicon house, they knock on the front door. With this improvement though, I have become greedy. I want to form sentences. I want to talk at the level of a middle schooler instead of the fractured, few word scramble I end up serving to people. I really want and almost need to reach out to native speakers! And im hoping this strong desire will help me zipline through this language cloud forest because its hard to see when you’re hiking in it; quickly, your perspective your ambitions can fade. But if you sit on a bench, if you let yourself stop moving and actually feel apart of the scene rather than trying to watch it, you can remember yourself again.

When you don’t know another language all that well, its also easy for the people that speak it to feel surreal or fake. As though you are in a play and are only rehearsing a script that every one already knows by heart. And because you can only talk about the simple things, the people you talk to feel simple as well. But now that I have been grasping on to words and have a better understanding of Indonesian, people like my host family or my language tutors feel even more like real friends and family. I can start to ask them questions, respond to theirs, and talk a little bit more about things other than food (although that’s a great conversation topic!!) But yet I do find myself asking for more and more. “Pada waktunya” (in time)

Last night, I went to a fellow students house to observe traditional Javanese song and dance. Unfortunately, I only was able to see a small slice of that pie because of my curfew (yup, I come home every night between 9 er 9 30). I left by myself, walked through the various streets adorned with foodcart sellers, motorcycles, and stray cats onto the campus of the university I take classes at. Walking alone a few weeks ago made me feel really vulnerable because I did not know the campus layout at all and of course having various signs (and people) speaking to me in Indonesian did not help me to feel comfortable. But with the past two weeks I definitely restored my confidence and thus last night allowed myself to walk home alone. And as I walked down one of the main artery streets, a woman and her brother, riding around on their motorcycle, stopped to chat with me. Towards the vary end of our conversation, the woman asked me, in English “aren’t you afraid? If my girlfriends walk around at night by themselves the feel afraid. Why aren’t you?” and  I said “no” but I did not really know how to answer that question because I guess in all honesty maybe I should be more “cautious.” But here, you do not see too many women at night walking alone. You see men sitting at tables, playing instruments, selling food, or simply just walking around but really no women. And back in California, I totally trotted around by myself. This woman’s question makes me think about when I first came to san Francisco just to visit and how paranoid I was of where my bag was at all times because of pickpocketing and all those other negative types of thoughts. But since I began living there, that fear for san Francisco and Berkeley evaporated because I began viewing those places as home. The same goes for here. I really do view here as home because home definitely is something you take with you. Its not tethered to concrete structures or idling and becoming stagnant within a space—home migrates with you and within you. I take home with me and do not feel afraid because my destination is side me!

I promise I am being smart and careful, not careless. Simply though I am integrating. I am not taking photographs at everything I see or spending all that much time on the computer. Instead I play games and chat with my host family or venture off with my new friends or tutors to different parts of malang, which reminds me. I do want to tell you some actual concrete things without being too dreamy.

Almost every day (even the weekends), I get up between 5 and 6 to get ready for my 8 am class. I have my own room which is nice and cozy. Im digging the white walls and simplicity of this space. Back in Berkeley, as Leilani and Theresa know, the walls of my space talked with colours and photographs while the floors voice was muffled with clothes and books. Here, I don’t have much and am fond of that. (I hope I keep downsizing. I don’t view myself as a person of many things). After rolling around for a minute or two, I pop up and go to the kitchen where my Neknek (grandma) has already begun frying the tempeh and tofu for my breakfast.[ Fried food (goreng) is SO big here (really! Today I had fried mushrooms for lunch. Yummy and surprising at the same time!)] I eat, get dressed in very nice non hippy clothes, and walk over to the campus where I have class for 8 hours every day and time also for tutoring/exploring the city.  When I come back home, I take my shower, eat dinner, play with my sisters (I have two and they are the SWEETEST! Ages 11 and 18), do some homework, and go to sleep. Of course every day has a slight moderation of that schedule but that’s the barebones to it all. By the way, I take cold showers. Every day I take a very cold shower and now I love it! I feel so fresh and especially awake afterwards. In java (maybe in most of Indonesia?) hot showers are thought to be unhealthy for the body, and as a result of this I shiver me timbers a little bit every day. Try taking a cold shower tonight. Even if you cant do it, turn on your shower to cold first and feel that temperature for a second. And if youre ready, submerge and feel ever more connected to my experiences here.

Tonight I toted around malang with my younger sister named mita. Shes beautiful, playful, and definitely a mozic. She held my hand as we walked down streets and past buildings and definitely felt the looks others usually only give me. i feel as though we are really sisters and I can tell that she is happy to be around me as I am her. And, for the record, I love learning from those that are younger! I give her so much respect, attention, and admiration and she is 11 years my junior. No need to make office hours, I simply need to sit next to her and the knowledge party starts happening with a warmness I generate with those I care for back in America. I miss being able to be so open with others! Doing it in another language I am not nearly close to being fluent in makes my emotional self ache at times.

Here, my communication skills here are challenged, but even if I cannot understand or say anything, a smile is all I need.

Smiles during that cold shower you take today!!

ray

My word retention is improving. I can use words without even having to think about them first; instead of entering through the back of my lexicon house, they knock on the front door. With this improvement though, I have become greedy. I want to form sentences. I want to talk at the level of a middle schooler instead of the fractured, few word scramble I end up serving to people. I really want and almost need to reach out to native speakers! And im hoping this strong desire will help me zipline through this language cloud forest because its hard to see when you’re hiking in it; quickly, your perspective your ambitions can fade. But if you sit on a bench, if you let yourself stop moving and actually feel apart of the scene rather than trying to watch it, you can remember yourself again.

When you don’t know another language all that well, its also easy for the people that speak it to feel surreal or fake. As though you are in a play and are only rehearsing a script that every one already knows by heart. And because you can only talk about the simple things, the people you talk to feel simple as well. But now that I have been grasping on to words and have a better understanding of Indonesian, people like my host family or my language tutors feel even more like real friends and family. I can start to ask them questions, respond to theirs, and talk a little bit more about things other than food (although that’s a great conversation topic!!) But yet I do find myself asking for more and more. “Pada waktunya” (in time)

Last night, I went to a fellow students house to observe traditional Javanese song and dance. Unfortunately, I only was able to see a small slice of that pie because of my curfew (yup, I come home every night between 9 er 9 30). I left by myself, walked through the various streets adorned with foodcart sellers, motorcycles, and stray cats onto the campus of the university I take classes at. Walking alone a few weeks ago made me feel really vulnerable because I did not know the campus layout at all and of course having various signs (and people) speaking to me in Indonesian did not help me to feel comfortable. But with the past two weeks I definitely restored my confidence and thus last night allowed myself to walk home alone. And as I walked down one of the main artery streets, a woman and her brother, riding around on their motorcycle, stopped to chat with me. Towards the vary end of our conversation, the woman asked me, in English “aren’t you afraid? If my girlfriends walk around at night by themselves the feel afraid. Why aren’t you?” and  I said “no” but I did not really know how to answer that question because I guess in all honesty maybe I should be more “cautious.” But here, you do not see too many women at night walking alone. You see men sitting at tables, playing instruments, selling food, or simply just walking around but really no women. And back in California, I totally trotted around by myself. This woman’s question makes me think about when I first came to san Francisco just to visit and how paranoid I was of where my bag was at all times because of pickpocketing and all those other negative types of thoughts. But since I began living there, that fear for san Francisco and Berkeley evaporated because I began viewing those places as home. The same goes for here. I really do view here as home because home definitely is something you take with you. Its not tethered to concrete structures or idling and becoming stagnant within a space—home migrates with you and within you. I take home with me and do not feel afraid because my destination is side me!

I promise I am being smart and careful, not careless. Simply though I am integrating. I am not taking photographs at everything I see or spending all that much time on the computer. Instead I play games and chat with my host family or venture off with my new friends or tutors to different parts of malang, which reminds me. I do want to tell you some actual concrete things without being too dreamy.

Almost every day (even the weekends), I get up between 5 and 6 to get ready for my 8 am class. I have my own room which is nice and cozy. Im digging the white walls and simplicity of this space. Back in Berkeley, as Leilani and Theresa know, the walls of my space talked with colours and photographs while the floors voice was muffled with clothes and books. Here, I don’t have much and am fond of that. (I hope I keep downsizing. I don’t view myself as a person of many things). After rolling around for a minute or two, I pop up and go to the kitchen where my Neknek (grandma) has already begun frying the tempeh and tofu for my breakfast.[ Fried food (goreng) is SO big here (really! Today I had fried mushrooms for lunch. Yummy and surprising at the same time!)] I eat, get dressed in very nice non hippy clothes, and walk over to the campus where I have class for 8 hours every day and time also for tutoring/exploring the city.  When I come back home, I take my shower, eat dinner, play with my sisters (I have two and they are the SWEETEST! Ages 11 and 18), do some homework, and go to sleep. Of course every day has a slight moderation of that schedule but that’s the barebones to it all. By the way, I take cold showers. Every day I take a very cold shower and now I love it! I feel so fresh and especially awake afterwards. In java (maybe in most of Indonesia?) hot showers are thought to be unhealthy for the body, and as a result of this I shiver me timbers a little bit every day. Try taking a cold shower tonight. Even if you cant do it, turn on your shower to cold first and feel that temperature for a second. And if youre ready, submerge and feel ever more connected to my experiences here.

Tonight I toted around malang with my younger sister named mita. Shes beautiful, playful, and definitely a mozic. She held my hand as we walked down streets and past buildings and definitely felt the looks others usually only give me. i feel as though we are really sisters and I can tell that she is happy to be around me as I am her. And, for the record, I love learning from those that are younger! I give her so much respect, attention, and admiration and she is 11 years my junior. No need to make office hours, I simply need to sit next to her and the knowledge party starts happening with a warmness I generate with those I care for back in America. I miss being able to be so open with others! Doing it in another language I am not nearly close to being fluent in makes my emotional self ache at times.

Here, my communication skills here are challenged, but even if I cannot understand or say anything, a smile is all I need.

Smiles during that cold shower you take today!!

ray

i am here!

I am here.

Yes, after 39+ hours and thousands of miles I made it to Java. I wandered throughout airports, experienced Hong Kong and Singapore only through windows, and finally inhaled Indonesian air while wandering outside Jakarta’s international airport. The air was smoggy, filled with a sharp taste of fuel, yet anything was better than the recycled air I had been putting into my lungs. I might add too that I experienced my first squatting toilet at this airport, which was not as bad as others made it out to be. Right away though, the bathroom/WC experience really tinkered with my mental wiring and stimulated a neural energy very unfamiliar to my American self.

We (being me + the 24 other students) flew from Jakarta to Malang and I, for the first time in this travel time period, got the window seat. As I looked over java, I felt like I was looking over myself. This place has been a mental projection/future place for me since mid March of 2010 and it has grown with me throughout my time at Berkeley; I have catered a majority of my studies to Indonesia (specifically Java) and have let time outside of academia drift towards daydreaming about it. I saw the curvatures of shorelines, patchy brown deforested hectares, and concentrated urban areas. As the plane got closer to landing, Malang blushed at me with red tiled roof tops and caught my attention with floating fish nets, and rice paddy fields right by the airport.

Malang introduced itself to me with bright colored buildings, gasoline fumes, street side markets, lots of motor bikes, tasty veggie food, and so many smiles! After all the sites, and three days without taking a shower, I took a shower as soon as we got to the hotel to wash off the airport grime and sleep away some of America in order to make room inside myself for my new home (!).

There are so many things I could choose to focus on. Smiles exchanged with children through neighborhood gates, motocycles adorned with large baskets carrying food (like krupuk, these fried-interestingly-shaped crackers or all sorts of clippings from gardens), and inviting businesses right outside of someone’s home, the patchiness of sidewalks and streets. I like this place--its honest. It admits to not being perfect without even crediting the fact that perfect exists. When I walk along streets I can actually see whats below me (mainly sewer pipes but still). And there are things that happen here that would never occur as openly in America. Like Splendid Market (ironically named, a market that sells all sorts of animals, mainly exotic birds and rodents that do not look happy!!) or pedestrians not having the right of way or even the simple act of bargaining. And I am so grateful that I get to experience even the sad sights. That I did not have to wait for the continents to remesh in order to experience this. That I can now, in my twenties, taste it and really feel it. That I can have new people help me find places within myself that I did not originally have a map for.
Two of the main things I have been mulling-like-cidar over is the relationship to animals here and the cluster or markets. In English, we “humans” like to refer to other living things (besides plants) as “animals” The same goes for Indonesian where there is a seperation between the “non human” and the “human.” However, in Indonesian the seperation does not stop there. It continues with the different words that are used for gender and for being alive (human female and male, alive or dead, are different for animal female and male, alive or dead). There is another word bank entirely dedicating to continued the removal of humans for animals. This word bank also allows one to give more respect to other humans. The irony to this however is how closely Indonesians (at least those in Malang) live with animals because they are intimately connected and tied to naimals during the every day. How chickens, birds, cats, and a whole slet of animals I don’t know the names for hang out over here and encounter humans everyday. Maybe its because of these intimate relationsihps that there is such a rhetoric for talking about animals. Or maybe not. This is simply me pondering away. Maybe the significane has lost its meaning all together.

Much like how birds of a feather flock together, the same can be saifd about businesses. If, lets say, you want to make ceramics (like I did a few days ago!!)you go to a district solely dedicated to ceramics. The same foes for animals, clothes, etc. Its as if businesses take on a farmer’s market mentality where they have grown about the same thing but theres something about it that makes it unique. This cluster of businesses also allows the consumer to compare, contrast, and decide upon a product.

Learning a language this intensely has given me a mental silence at times. Where I don’t know how to think in either English or Indonesian. Where my mind reaches a clarity of the present moment because it cant reason a distance brought on by thinking. I’m telling you, this is intense! But I am making breakthrough(t)s. I can now listen to people and get the jist of what they are saying although my speaking skills lack so much! Hopefully by the end of these 8 weeks I can feel confident (confidence in Indonesian is “hadiri” which means worth of self--I like that).
　
Already, I have experienced a beautiful beach with the name senang biru (happy blue), explored a tea plantation (wow!! I had no idea how tea was made. Quite enlightening to see the mass production of a crop (instead of timber)), explored my campus, and hopefully this upcoming Thursday, I will explore the mud volcanoe which is the result of the bakri brothers (spelling?) mining for oil. The mud eruption has completely wiped out several towns much like the recent tornadoes in the US.

I miss everyone so much! Especially my sweetheart. I love though how I can meet new people that I will soon miss and yet take with me on to my next undulation. Life is fun being dynamic, isn’t it?

Ah tomorrow I have my first quiz in Indonesian. Wish me luck! I wish you the world.
Love,
ray

39 hours, 9000+ miles

Coming to you live from the Singapore Airport, it’s Ray! Sleep deprived and currently comprised of pre-packaged plane meals, the 9,000+ miles I have floated over are quite taxing yet my positive disposition is carrying me through the fluorescent, tech-savvy spaces I inhabit; simply reminding myself that these are the steps necessary for me to arrive to Indonesia is what is keeping my inner flame burning bright.

International travel is intense! I have already flown on two double-decker planes that had rows and rows of babies, airplane pillows, tvs, and beautiful and varying types of people. The hiss of the air vents coupled with announcements made in both English and Cantonese have made the insides of the airplane feel like a bustling micro city, where all on board are destined for the same place but for different reasons.  

It has also been quite an experience to walk through the airports and see all the familiar la-de-da stores like Gucci, Swarovski, and Juicy Couture; a fellow CLSP participant remarked (while we were in the Hong Kong airport) that the presence of these stores creates a pseudo-America to demonstrate the wealth and success these “newly” developed countries have cultivated. I would think that representing the endemic nature of a place, rather than trying to cater to those from foreign environments, could make for a wealthier atmosphere when compared to the Western monoculture. But what is “endemic” or local anyway?

There are quite a few heady, stimulating people participating in this program with me and I was able to have a very interesting conversation about cartography and the representation of physical landscapes on maps. He revealed to me that the Chinese defined locations on a map not solely based on the type of people you found there but by markets (circulations of capital) present, and how markets actually allowed the Chinese to view everyone as the same (since the only thing that was really changing were the commodities cycling through). Where does that leave me when traveling? Does my personal circulation make me the same as everyone else abroad? Can all of us connect universally through the idea of travel?

I am so thankful for the opportunity to pass through these places, to see maps and know that I am so far away from all that is familiar, to respond to people asking where I am from with “American” rather than with “California” or “Florida.” I love this! Really do. However I can feel myself missing the ability to refer to streets and neighborhoods and have others know what I am talking about. This shall happen in time though! No need to rush myself into familiarity. In fact its quite fun not to know and instead have others tell/show you. And hopefully, years from now, I can be someone that shows others from Indonesia how to maneuver about the countryside or metropolis but for now, I have a whole lot of asking to do in my future.

What day is it? What time? These methods of measuring existence have been completely compromised. Nothing feels permanent except the knowingness I have of myself. Traveling really does help reveal those defining characteristics of yourself and confronts you with survival issues (like where to get food, wheres the next gate, how to get there) that you can solve in multiple ways. Of course I brought some trail mix and fruit to the airport (thank you orianah!) and of course I resisted eating in these travel infrastructures for as long as possible but it felt so good to give in and just eat some rice (I keep talking about food and sleep..two things I need most!).

Well friend, I am going to try and catch some Zs  before I have to check in for my flight from Singapore to Jakarta. Rest yourself well and keep livin’ this wonderful,vast life of yours.

Sunshine smiles,

Ray

"if you never leave, you can never return"

for the past three weeks, i have basked in the Floridian sunshine of my family and friends and have become quite tan from the love, happiness, and good vibes they have given me. 


and now, filled with the desire to live more fully and change it up a bit,  i get to experience their amazing love and my 22 year old self under a new sun--an equatorial sun. in about two days (june 14th), i hop on a plane to reach my new home in indonesia, which leads me to say: you, dear friend, are someone i want to include in on my journey and want to stay connected to although we will be hectares and hectares apart.


to begin this process of sharing moments, i will post pictures of what ive been up to while in the sunshine state (and will hope to do this with foto-foto in indonesia). 


please please please feel free to email me! i would love to hear from you and embrace what you've been doing with your wonderful life. you can email me at bohemgreenrf@berkeley.edu. 


smiles for miles,
ray

a rainbow spectrum of beautiful womyn

a blueberry heart

the gardens i helped start at santa fe (how its grown!)

jen + i at one of the many springs in gainesville

ichetucknee joy